who i've become grocery store edition

"No problem,  before i was me i wouldn't want to be stuck behind me either." 

This (or something very nearly like it) was said to the young apparently college aged man behind me,  holding his few items,  after he thanked me,  after i offered to let him check out before me in the grocery store line. 

It's true you know-  i have become "that woman" at the grocery store. 

Today i felt kind of badly for the people behind me.  An elderly gentleman holding nothing but some garlic cloves,  a woman who wasn't certain she even had enough in her cart to satisfy the "5 dollars off a 50 dollar purchase" coupon i passed back.  i didn't need it-  i was already using the "25 dollars off a 150 dollar purchase" coupon. 

There was once a time when my hard and fast rule on grocery shopping was this-  if i can't carry it home myself then i shouldn't be buying it.  This was a fine rule when i was the twenty-something college kid.  i might spend $100 every two weeks,  with a $20 brush up purchase in-between.  Now i celebrate a little if my grocery ticket is in the $180 a week realm.  The goal now is not to carry all my purchases alone,  but to avoid the dreaded embarrassing double cart push-out. 

i am the woman with the full cart,  who separates orders and asks that they be bagged separately.  i'm the woman who asks to make sure that special really did ring through,  because that's the only reason that item was purchased.  The one who hands over a pile of coupons with each order,  and internally chortles with glee when the young cashier looks in awe at the number of coupons the machine spits out.  If you use them they provide them.  It's a wonderful system. 

i purchase flush-able wet wipes,  zip lock bags,  childrens' toothpaste,  childrens' soap,  cleaning supplies,  and pain pills.  At times i purchase ensure;  i've been known to be happy at the sight of a depends coupon.  i'm shopping for two elderly women,  an adult man,  two cats,  a dog,  and myself. 

i love my shopping trips.  There's something about combining deals and coupons to provide for your family that makes you feel fulfilled.  The store becomes my battlefield.  i smile and swerve about the other warriors bringing home their spoils to their families.

i talk to myself,  to the products and the coupons,  not caring who hears me or what they think.  i go in what's comfortable,  not minding if i look nice much of the time.  After all,  i'm not there to flirt,  i'm there for battle.  Fighting is ugly so why should it matter if i am pretty??

This is the shopper i have become,  despite not being a mother or a wife.  This is my weekly tradition,  and yet another blessing in this life i've come to love.

So yes young man,  purchasing beer on the way to a night out.  Before i was me i wouldn't have wanted to be behind me.  Now,  however i'm glad to have become who i am.  It may be many years yet before you realize how much fun shopping can be.