So i just read that a friend read at least one post on here. (Hi Kate!) That's progress. :)
I suppose since it was today, maybe it's time to write that single's conference post I talked about a few weeks ago.
Except that i just realized i don't want to. So let's sum it up thus: i was invited to a church single's conference. It was tempting, for a time to go. To hang out with other singles, and just be young and carefree for a night.
Then i realized how young many people there might be. It may sound strange, but does anyone else see that almost generational gap between your early twenties and your early thirties?
I really saw it one night, when I went out with three girls. One was my age, and the other two were barely into their twenties. When i entered the car, the twenties were giggling. They confessed that they were a little tipsy. They continued to giggle and goof for the duration of the drive to wherever we were going at the time.
It occurred to me at some point that i just wasn't connecting with them. It occurred to me that they just seemed silly, and that i'd actually rather be home, hanging out near mom and either watching real tv with bubs or bad internet tv alone. It wasn't judgment, it wasn't elitism, it was just..... distance, a lack of relation.
So when part of my turning my "maybe" at the single's conference website to a "no" was probably just fear and shyness. Part of it, though, was not really wanting to spend that time hanging out with a bunch of young women who, like me at that age, desperately wanted to find the one.
Would i like a life-mate? Sure.
Have i thought and prayed about it even recently? Sure.
Did i think chatting last night with my best friend about her matchmaking scheme was positively pleasant? Sure.
The last time i went on something that even remotely resembled a date was, well before the last guy i went on something that even remotely resembled a date with moved on (literally and figuratively). It's probably two years or more now.
In truth, i'm still a (quasi) normal female human. That means that if God wanted to bring a husband my way, i would say "thank You".
It's not the driving need it was in my early twenties though. If it never happens, that's God's will. There are so many other things to spend my time on right now. There are so many other ways to direct my heart.
So because of this, and because i went to high school with the husband of the couple leading the conference ("Hey, we're the same age and yet you're throwing a singles conference as a ministry for me- yeah, no."), and because it was a married couple leading the conference ("Hi, i'm happily married but let me minister to you as a single.") and because it seemed disloyal to my plan of waiting on the Lord, i canceled.
Tonight, when i'm (Lord willing) hanging near mom and watching real tv with bubs or bad internet tv alone, i hope i remember to stop and appreciate just where i am.
(Please note that this post is in no way meant to be negative to single's conferences, or early twenty-somethings, or internet tv, or anything. It's just me thinking more on my life's journey.)
Guess that was the post on the single's conference. Maybe i'll get to why i want to dump mom's neurologist later.
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